Healthy Marriages

Here is a great post from Relevant Mag discussing things that healthy couples do not do. Very good for every married couple to remember:

8 things healthy couples don't do

I'd love to hear some feedback from you all on how this applies in your life and marriage. Ready go! 

Community of Confession

Song and Lyrics by Derek Webb

i repent of my pursuit of America's dream
i repent of living like i deserve anything
my house, my fence, my kids, and my wife
in our suburb where we're safe and white
i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent of parading my liberty
i repent of paying for what i get for free
the way i believe that i am living right
by trading sins for others that are easier to hide
i am wrong and of these things i repent

i repent judging by a law that even i can't keep
wearing righteousness like a disguise to see through
the planks in my own eyes

i repent of trading truth for false unity
i repent of confusing peace and idolatry
of caring more of what they think than what i know of what they need
and domesticating You until You look just like me
i am wrong and of these things i repent


These are tough lyrics, which if you've followed Derek's career after Caedmon's Call is no surprise.

I repent. I'm sorry. I confess. Statements like these are not quickly made in our culture. Unfortunately they are no more common place in our churches either. We all have difficulty admitting when we are wrong. That difficulty seems amplified when we are in a place where everyone seems so right, so put together. I'm referring to the church.

The people of Israel find themselves in need of a time of confession after hearing the Word of the Lord read to them. In Nehemiah 9:2, "Those of Israelite descent had separated themselves from all foreigners. They stood in their places and confessed their sins and the sins of their ancestors." The people confessed their sins, and then they confessed the sins of those who they knew, loved, and had gone before them.

When was the last time you confessed before God and man what was going on in your life? We all are in need of God's grace. When we do not confess our weakness, then we carry the assumption that we can do it on our own. But we can't do it on our own. I can't be good enough. I can't make it through the day fully devoted, on task and without sin. I need Him.

Confession changes us. When was the last time you confessed to a person or in a group. Chances are it was a powerful moment for you and for the person you shared your weakness with.

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not God’s child, nor is anyone who does not love their brother and sister. 1 John 3:9-10

Sabbath: rest with God

Do you feel like you go non-stop week to week. Do you wake up tired? Are you drowsy or nodding off part way through the day?  Maybe you need to rest. Not just sleep. Maybe you need time off, not just from work.

God sets up the pattern in Genesis 2 of rest after work. Not that He needs the rest...

"Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array. By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done."

And in one of the most famous passages, He choose to include it in the 10 Commandments: Exodus 20

“Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy." 

One of our elders pointed out to me that God made man on the 6th day. So God's last day of the week was a day of rest, and man-kinds first day was God's day of rest.  We were made to be in relationship with Him. To walk with Him and talk with Him. If you are so busy that you can't slow down for your relationship with him, if you feel stagnant, if you feel like you aren't growing in Him, slow down. Stop. Take a rest. Find your rest in Him and He will draw close to you as you draw near to Him. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

Submitting to submission...Submitting to love

Submission is hard...and talking about it in a positive way may be even harder. It doesn't come naturally to us, we fight it with every fiber of our independent being. But we are called to submit, for our own good, to our God and to other people. What does that look like? What does that mean for us? What are we scared of?

Let's start with what may be one of the most often quoted scriptures, and certainly one of the most preached: The Greatest Commandments.

Matthew 22

³⁴ Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. ³⁵ One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: ³⁶ “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
³⁷ Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ ³⁸ This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ⁴⁰ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
  
Pretty simple right? Just love the "Lord" with...everything & love your neighbor...as yourself...

OK, maybe not so simple but why? We have this urge, this need to be in control. Or maybe that's just me. It's not that I don't want to relinquish my control, it just that I don't trust someone else to take it and do a good job at it. Really it comes down to trust. Do I trust that God has my best interest in mind? Yes. 

So when I give myself and my life to him with all of my passions, all of my thoughts, with my deepest parts of me, and with my physical body, it should be easy right? Wrong, again. It seems as soon as I get to the place, God reveals another piece of me that I haven't let go of, another corner of my heart to let the light expel the darkness. Then, as if that isn't hard enough, then you want us to love our neighbor in ways that I'm not sure most of us love our selves. 

And that is why it requires submission. As Christians, our lives are not our own. We are told to take up our cross daily, to lay down our lives, to consider others before ourselves. This can only happen in the context of a life laid down. Of wants, and desires placed at the foot of the cross. The cross was the greatest act of love and Jesus reminded us that we participate in this by laying our lives down for our friends in John 15:12-13:

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

I have a little something to share with you: you are not in control of this world. Wow, isn't that freeing. Here's another one: God is in control of this world and He knows what's best for you! There is great freedom in that acknowledgment. Are you willing to put Him as "Lord" over all in your life and world? Once you do, then you will know freedom. And that freedom comes from submission!

Simplicity: Not So Simple

I'm preparing for my Bible class on Sunday. This week's topic is the Spiritual Discipline of Simplicity. Rather than get preachy or talk about why we need to live more simply, which I'm pretty sure from my life and those around me is obvious, let me share the 10 principles Foster describes in his book "Celebration of Discipline."

Ten controlling principles for the outward expression of simplicity:

1) Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.

2) Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.

3) Develop a habit of giving things away.

4) Refuse to be propagandized by the custodians of modern gadgetry.

5) Learn to enjoy things without owning them.

6) Develop a deeper appreciation for the creation.

7) Look with a healthy skepticism at all "by now, pay later" schemes 

8) Obey Jesus' instructions about plain, honest speech.

9) Reject anything that breeds the oppression of others.

10) Shun anything that distracts you from seeking first the kingdom of God. 

 Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

The Physical/Spiritual Connection

The physical self is always in need of discipline.  I know the word discipline isn't a very happy word for most, but it is a fitting descriptor. Too often we equate discipline with punishment. Although they can go hand in hand they are not the same.

Discipline is the study or training of people to obey a code of conduct or behavior. Punishment is the infliction of a penalty for an offense to that code of behavior.  They are related but far from the same thing. If we discipline well then there is rarely need for punishment. It is only when we stray away from the training that we have received through discipline that there becomes a need for punishment. 

My posts the last couple of weeks have been on my physical training pertaining to my hike of Mt. Whitney. The discipline necessary to prepare me for my hike was grueling. There were many times I did not want to go to the gym, do P90x, or go for a long run. But I had created a regiment that I knew would provide success and make my experience on the mountain the most enjoyable. 

Spiritually it words the same way. When we create disciplines in our spiritual life it allows us to prepare for all that life has to throw at us. Yes there are times that they are inconvenient, difficult, or we feel we just don't have time for them. But when I put my spiritual life, my relationship with God, as top priority then my desire should be for Him. My desire should be to spend time with Him in as many different ways and as often as possible. 

Just like my schedule for physical training, my schedule for spiritual training has to be set as a priority. When I wake up, when I lie down and everything between. When I regularly connect myself back to God then my time with Him becomes even more fulfilling. There is a secondary effect here too, I feel His presence with me more regularly in the ordinary times of life.

As I discipline my life physically and spiritually it allows me to live with greater focus, capitalizing on every moment. For me, when I am physically disciplined it helps with my spiritual discipline. The disciplined life shines into most areas of our being. 

Do you find discipline in one area of life affects other areas?

Meditating On It Day and Night

What do you think of when I say "meditation"?  Do you think of some esoteric eastern mystical hum-drum? Or do you think of a Hebrew/Christian Discipline that has been practiced for thousands of years? 

Richard Foster in Celebration of Discipline explained it this way, "Eastern meditation is an attempt to empty the mind; Christian meditation is an attempt to fill the mind. The two ideas are quite different."  I don't know about you but I need my mind renewed (Romans 12:2) daily. I need my mind filled by the Spirit in order that it might push out all that is not of Him. But that's just me...

Meditation is one way that we can do this simple but important act of keeping the main things the main thing.  Though not the earliest record of meditation the book of Psalms is a great place to start while exploring this spiritual discipline.  Psalm 1:1-2 states,
"Oh, the joys of those who do not
    follow the advice of the wicked,
    or stand around with sinners,
    or join in with mockers. 
 But they delight in the law of the Lord,
    meditating on it day and night."

 The Psalmist knew of the importance of meditating on the Law of the Lord, as a way to make sure they were in line with how God wanted them to live.  But here the psalmist takes it a step further in saying that he "delights" in the law.  Wow- there is actually delight and freedom when one is following closely to the path that God has laid out for them.  Easy no. But is there joy and delight there? You bet!

Here are some quotes about Christian Meditation: 
"Meditation is really very simple and there is not much need of elaborate techniques to teach us how to go about it." Thomas Merton

"That is why meditation is so threatening to us. It boldly calls us to enter into the living presence of God for ourselves." Richard Foster

"To pray is to descend with the mind into the heart, and there to stand before the face of the Lord, ever-present, all seeing, within you." Theophan the Recluse

When asked why he practiced meditation Dietrich Bonhoeffer replied, "Because I am a Christian." 

"...a familiar friendship with Jesus." Thomas a Kempis

"True contemplation is not a psychological trick but a theological grace." Thomas Merton

"No detachment is not enough, we must move on to attachment." Richard Foster

Scriptures: 
Psalm 1:2; 19:97,101,102, 148; 63:6, 17:12
Gen 24:63
Joshua 1:8
1 Samuel 3:1-18
1 Kings 19:9-18

Jesus often when out on his own to pray and spend time with God...How are you spending your time with the Lord? Is it renewing your mind? Ar you allowing Him to transform you? May your words and the meditation of your heart be pleasing to Him.


Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth
    and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing to you,
    O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.

Hungry? I know I am!

I have done many workout cycles in my many years of athletics and training. I work really hard a few times a week and after about 6-8 weeks I begin to really see improvements. I get stronger, I can run faster, I begin to look stronger. But there is alway a plateau, as if just doing the exterior physical work can only help me gain so much.

Getting ready for my Mt. Whitney climb has been no easy feat. From collecting gear, pledges, planning the trip, and the workout schedule; it has already been a trip. As usual though a little over a week ago I felt that I hit my wall. My point where I'm not gaining like I want to gain. This was also right before our family vacation. It's alway difficult to eat right and train the way you want to when you are on the road, 2,700 miles in one week. On the way back I decided I needed to try something different in my training; I needed to work on my inside as much as my outside. I needed to "diet" to get my body moving.

Now let me clarify here, I don't really need to loose weight. I'm well within my zone for height and weight. But when your body has junk to burn, you can't keep putting junk into it. So I started the P90X "diet" last week. For me it is a small amount of calories, especially considering the amount of running, strength training, and cardio work I am doing every day. But if you want your body to act and react, sometimes you have to confuse it and change it up.

Funny how the same thing happens spiritually with us. Sometimes we just get stale, we stay in one thing or mode of spirituality too long. Sometimes we have been doing the same thing over and over again, hoping it will continue to have an effect, long after it has lost its effectiveness and relevance. We only work on the outside and neglect what we bring into our insides.

Here's what I do know. If we hunger and thirst for righteousness the promise is that we will be filled. Jesus promised us that in Matt 5:6. I may be hungry physically in order that I can kickstart my body into using some of its reserves that I have stored. But I don't have to be malnourished spiritually to get it to kick off my need for God. Being hungry spiritually is really what we need. God is all we need. When we look to Him to fill those needs, and look to him when we hunger and thirst for that which is not good for us, then his promise is to take care of those needs for us. When I am hungry for the things of this world I have to ask my self, "What have I been feeding my spirit lately." Chances are if I am hungry for the wrong things, I haven't been feeding it very well.

On the other hand if I have a steady diet of spiritual disciplines drawing me toward him and letting go of me, then I tend to be satisfied. Are you satisfied by your time with the Father? Or are you looking for satisfaction, fulfillment, and your needs to be met in other places?

"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:8, 9 NLT)

5 Types of Christians

We had the pleasure of strong preaching from Randy Harris last Sunday morning. He did a great job (no surprise) introducing Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. During his intro he discussed 5 different types of Christians today. Here they are (descriptions loosely based on his comments):

1) Intellectual Christians: those who approach faith from the area of the mind. Tend toward Bible studies and sermons.

2) Servant Christians: those who approach faith by serving others. Tend toward active invitations to service oriented opportunities.

3) Relational Christians: those who approach faith by focusing primarily on relationships with others. Tend toward hospitality, parties, all things social in order to build relationships.

4) Contemplative Christians: those who approach faith by seeking alone time with God. Tend towards prayer meetings, quiet, solitude and other simple spiritual disciplines.

5) Emotive Christians: those who approach faith by expressing their feelings toward him. Tend toward more expressive worship, activities that help them to feel good or help others to feel good, they follow their hearts.

So which one are you? From what direction do you typically approach your faith? Which one do you relate to the least? Is there one that you need to grow in or be more like in your walk with Christ?

Links to Living Jesus Materials

Randy's Message at Grace Crossing

Preparation

How do you prepare for your day? What is your morning routine? Most of us get up out of bed (after only one or two snoozes right?). Then shower and get dressed, maybe eat breakfast (most important meal of the day some say). Is the remainder of your morning spent rushing around trying to get to work or school? Did you take the time to check facebook? Did you watch or check the news? Then all of a sudden you are sitting at work wondering where the morning went.

Where was your relationship with God in the midst of all of that business?

Did you take the time to pray? Did you take the time to read from His inspired Word? Did you turn on some worship or listen to an audio Bible on your drive?

Spiritually we function just like our physical bodies: garbage in, garbage out. When I am disciplined with my body; eat right, work out, run, get plenty of sleep, not too much caffeine, my body responds and I feel so much better. More seems right with my world than wrong. However, when I don't do right by my body...well you know the feeling.

Spiritually when I am in relationship, spending time with, making it a priority to be with God...everything seems better. Life circumstances may be just as good or bad, but my attitude and how I approach them is completely different when I am connected to the Father.

Are you connected to the Father? Are you allowing the Holy Spirit room to work through your life? What does this look like in your life? Are you spiritually regular? What spiritual disciplines are you learning right now?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Philippians 4:8, 9 NIV)

Put it into practice and may the God of peace be with you.