The summer of recovery and difficulty

The last year and a half have been in a word; hard. The pandemic has left us disconnected, grieving, uneasy, fractured, and wondering what is most important in life. 

While things were seeming to get back to normal as the vaccine was administered throughout the spring, the summer left us with much hope of what is to come. For many those hopes and dreams have been fulfilled with vacations, traveling, and seeing loved ones. For others there is still hope and trepidation, an unknowing about the future. 

Here is what I have observed, those who were able to keep connection with others, family, friends, co-workers, faith-communities, etc. have faired better than others. 

For me, it has been a struggle. While I am thankful for the friends we have gained here in Colorado we have still struggled with that sense of strong community. Maybe we were spoiled in The Woodlands and Abilene. Maybe the pandemic put a big wrench in everyone's openness. Maybe at this stage of life it takes more work. 

I am thankful that we have had some friends come to visit us lately. There is always comfort in having connectedness for long periods of time with people you have been through the "stuff" with before. I'm also thankful for the new friendships forming, for church connections, and neighbors who care. Without these connections we would certainly feel like we would dry up. 

As we look forward to fall I know that there is a need for intentionality, for connection, discernment, and for enjoying the season. Even as I write this my heart is heavy as I have one friend on the West Coast and a couple of friends in Texas in the hospital due to Covid. My hope is in the Lord for them, for us, and for what is to come. 

Uncertain times reminds us what is most important; Family, Community, and Faith

Check out the blog post on Full Live Adventures!

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Parenting: What do your morning and evening rituals look like?

In the last two years I seemed to have returned to my roots, working more and more with troubled adolescents and their families. Additionally, our kiddos are entering the adolescent phase of life with one on the verge of teen-hood in her second year of middle school and the other in his last year of elementary school. Needless to say we are in the thick of all things adolescent with more to come.

One of the needs I’ve noticed in the families I work with is the lack of morning and evening schedules or what I call rituals. In our home, the kids get up between 6 and 6:15 am on school days (on their own I might add), get dressed and brush teeth before coming downstairs, make their lunches while Megan does breakfast and I make coffee. They eat, pack their bags for the day and are out the door around 7:20. Evenings vary greatly by activity, but usually include dinner, some family TV time, homework, reading, and the kids getting ready for bed around 8:30 including pjs, brushing teeth, and anything that may need done last minute for the next day. After that, they may read a bit more and then Megan and I go into their rooms around 9 to pray with them and tuck them into bed.

This is how our mornings and evenings go on most days. We feel like this gets the kids around 9 hours of sleep (most study’s say 9-10 hours is optimal), and it provides regular structure. What about you? What are your families schedules, routines, rituals, or rhythms? Share what your family does on a nightly or semi-regular basis.

New State, New Life

I didn’t realize it had been so long since I updated this site. Sorry to all who have been expecting more from us! I will do more content here and additionally there will be content on our Full Life Adventures page: www.fulllifeadventures.org

Here is the very brief life update:
I finished my Masters in Christian Ministry in December of 2016, having already started in the summer of 2016 I also went on to finish my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy in 2018, all at Abilene Christian University. I also completed a thesis on Adventure Based Therapy with Marital Intimacy and Christian Spirituality.

Megan, the kids and I loved our time in Abilene. We met some incredible people there that will always be in our hearts and minds. But ultimately our hearts were in Colorado and had been since the summer of 2014 when we felt God calling us there.

After working for the Counseling Center at ACU for a short time I found a job in Greeley, Colorado at North Range Behavioral Health working with troubled adolescents and their families. Shortly there after Megan found a job in Greeley at Edward Jones Investments, and through her research we found the little town of Windsor. We moved there in December of 2018 and love it!

We still desire to start following our dreams of having a place for couples and families to reconnect, rest, reconcile, and restore. We believe this will still happen in God’s timing not our own.

We’d love to hear from you all. If you have questions or comments please share.

Here We Go!

Well the word is out. The Boyers are headed to Abilene, TX for the Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy program. This is undoubtedly a big move for us and our family.

I came to Houston for the first time in the summer of 1998 for a youth ministry internship with Spring Woodlands Church of Christ. I went back to school my senior year knowing that I was different, but unaware of what God had in store for me. Fast forward to early spring of '99. and I received a phone call from Dave Gibbs and Travis Bryant asking if I would consider coming on full time. I fairly quickly said no, and then they called me back just a few weeks later and asked me to reconsider. I spent some time fasting and praying and God sent me to 1 Samuel. If you know the story of Eli and Samuel, you can imagine the story unfolding. God calls out to Samuel in his sleep, but Samuel did not yet know the voice of the Lord. After the third time of waking up Eli, Samuel was told by him to answer the call, "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening." I knew I needed to listen, and felt God tell me to answer his call to ministry. I began full time in the summer of '99.

Megan and I met in the fall, but she was dating someone at the time. We developed a friendship and after I ran off the other guy (really he ran himself off), we began dating a few months later. We married April 7th, 2001, and began a whirlwind life of ministry together. After a few more years of youth ministry, I transitioned out to another ministry position the summer of 2006. Claire was born about 9 months later and Eliam 21 month after that. It's hard to believe that they are now 9 years and 7 years old respectively.

Megan and I have dreamed many dreams over the years of where God might take us next. And a few times we considered chasing those dreams. But each time before we could take a move, God seemed to say wait. So we have waited, and we have been blessed. We have developed such sweet and deep friendships because we stayed. We have people in our lives that will forever be as close as family. We are deeply honored by our friendships and we wouldn't trade them for anything. But now the time has come, it is time that we must go.

A year and a half ago, I again felt the Lord calling saying that I needed to apply for the Marriage and Family Therapy program at ACU. On the one hand, Megan and I have done Marriage Mentoring for 8 plus years now using Prepare/Enrich, and we love doing this together. It has been great for our marriage and hopefully it has helped a few out along the way too. On the other hand, I started a Masters in Christian Ministry in 2012, the last thing I wanted to think about was another couple of years in school. We also had been dreaming about starting a ministry in Colorado, and we have been working on that for quite some time. All of our plans didn't come together as we hoped they would and then the summer hit. We were restless. Then thing got a little out of sorts at Grace Crossing (formerly Spring Woodlands where we still serve), and we didn't really feel comfortable leaving last summer to pursue the degree. So we stayed. God continued to bless us and grow us.

We are so thankful for our Grace Crossing family. They have been a huge blessing over the years. We are who we are because of the many lives that have influenced us and supported us. But now after 17 years, it's time for a change. God is taking us to Abilene where I can finish up one degree and begin the next. We don't have jobs yet, we don't have a home, but we know we are in God's hands. To complicate things just a bit, we'll be helping with some backpacking trips this summer in Colorado. So we'll be off grid, in and out of availability throughout the summer as we help some adults reconnect with God.

Life is an adventure. When you are chasing after God, you never know exactly where he will take you. Isn't that just His nature? When you think you're in control and have it all figured out, He reminds you that it is all in His hands, in his timing.

I ran across a quote this weekend that really reminded me of God's nature:

"The God who blesses and orders our lives is the God who disrupts it in order to make things new."

God is making things new for us...and we're holding on to Him as we go along for the ride.

Discipline: Structure and Grace

Discipline comes in many forms. There is physical discipline, of which I thought I knew about until I started running marathons. There is work ethic, which really is a job related discipline to do and be all that you can for your place of employment. There is spiritual discipline, which help to smooth out the rough spots of faith that inevitably will come. Then there is disciplining your children...which makes all of the other forms of discipline seem easy.

Last night in a small group I lead, as we were discussing what discipline looks like in a home that is trying to follow an almighty Father God, I came to a realization. Discipline is really a combination of structure and grace. Yes, it takes both. No, there is no magic formula.

Much like the discipline I had to learn in marathon training, there is a rhythm a "structure" if you will, to discipline. But this must be constantly injected with grace. Here's what I mean.

I have a set training schedule when I begin to prepare for races. Mondays and Wednesdays are workout days. I have a simple focus that involves some complex movement leg and arm exercises. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturdays are running days (there is a formula to it...but that is another blog...). Fridays are a flex day, sometimes body weight bearing workouts and sometimes runs. Sunday's I take off...completely for rest and recovery.

Here is where the grace comes in. Sometimes I choose to run on Monday night, with my favorite running group, instead of Tuesday morning. Sometimes I miss a work out. Sometimes I move a run to Friday. There is flexibility to listen to my body. There is grace when I miss. I just pick up the next workout/run or modify.

Disciplining our children works much the same way. My goal number one to help the children realize that the reason they are being punished isn't because they did something "bad." Instead I want them to realize we are helping them to reach their full potential of what God created them to be and become. So I want them to fully understand what specifically it is that they did wrong. Take time with them, explain the "why" as much or more than the "what" of what they did wrong.

Secondly, I want them to know how much I love them. I really desire what is best for them and their life and that's why I can't allow this unhealthy habit or action to continue. They need to know they are loved. This may need to happen multiple times throughout the process.

Thirdly, I want them to understand the act of asking for forgiveness. Our world could really use some people in it that understand taking responsibility for their actions and asking forgiveness appropriately. This means asking for forgiveness from those who they may have hurt, from their parents, from God, and from themselves. By the way, if you didn't handle yourself well in the heat of the moment when correction was needing to be given to your child, this is a good time to ask their forgiveness too.

Fourthly, administer appropriate punishment for the action. If possible this needs to be predetermined so that you don't get caught up in the moment. If you are married you should consult your spouse if possible (especially if it is a bigger offense or not something with a predetermined discipline). There is no silver bullet to punishment. It's different for every child. It's different for every family. The key is consistency and follow through.

Lastly, leave the child space to think about his/her actions and the subsequent punishment. We don't often enough ask our children to reflect upon their actions, what lead to those actions, who they were following, why they did what they did...you get the picture. Let them sit in it. Let them stew in it. Then when they come back around show them love. Love them and remind them that they are a good kid and this is just part of growing up and becoming a Godly man or woman.

At all steps in this process be quick to give grace and love. Sometimes we overreact as parents. Sometimes we come down to harshly. Sometimes we aren't tough enough or fail to follow through. Give yourself some grace: you're not a perfect parent! Give your children some grace: they aren't perfect either!

Our ultimate goal in parenting, as in life, is to draw those around us to a loving relation to our Father in heaven. In everything we do, we have the challenge reflecting the Father's love, to draw them near to him, to let them see our struggle with it as well. We are praying for all of you, who like us, struggle with this on a day to day basis. May you know the Father's love for you, as you seek his wisdom in every situation.

Proverbs 3:5-6, 11-12
⁵ Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.

¹¹ My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke,
¹² because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in

(Basic structure adapted from "Dedicated: Training Your Children to Trust and Follow Jesus" 
by Houser, Harrington, and Harrington) 

Life-Bridges

Sometimes we come to a place in life that we aren't sure which way to go. We know that there is a bridge to cross, something new, something different, something... But often we aren't even sure which bridge is the right bridge. Ever been there?

My family and I have been walking this out for over a year now. We know the vision God has placed on our hearts for Colorado, or some kind of land that he longs to be a place of recovery for those who serve in his kingdom. But the doors just haven't quite opened the way we hoped.

On the other hand, we love the local church and believe God has planted it deep within our hearts to serve and draw people into close relationship with him. We call that discipleship. But we believe God has "released" us from our current place where we have served for 16 years. 

I also have been working on a Masters degree for 4 years now and the end is in sight. Maybe. I applied for and have been accepted into a Marriage and Family Therapy program starting in August. On the one hand I would love to have the expertise and certification, on the other hand...2 more years of grad school...

So here we are at a bridge, and we're not quite sure what's on the the other side.

Praying. We are praying. We have been praying. We'll continue to pray.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1

I think the hardest part is praying and waiting for answers. No, I'm not expecting God to have a shining light come down and say "go this way." I don't expect a Bethlehem star to suddenly appear, showing us which way to go. But I long to hear God's voice. I long to see the doors open up that are so obviously his hand that I can't say no. That I wouldn't want to say no.

Maybe your like me, you've come to the proverbial fork in the road, or a bridge that just can't quite see over. Maybe you've asked a cried out to God and he seems silent on your future. Don't give up. Don't quit pressing in. God hasn't abandoned you. He's growing you. He's moving you into maturity.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 


What are waiting to hear from God about? What can we lift up in your life to our good Father?

Full Life Adventure Video

If you want to see a little taste of what a “Full Life Adventure” looks like, here is a video of the first couple of days of a trip. I’ll get the next video up as soon as I can finish it. Enjoy!

-Eddie Boyer

I don't usually feature other writers on this page...but my wife wrote a beautiful piece talking about where we are on our current adventure, and what God has in mind for us. I pray this is helpful. I request prayers for us. Most of all I pray that we are continually shaped and molded by God as we journey with him. 

-Eddie

This is just the beginning…

We are in the waiting…the hard and silent wait. The long, long months (even years) after hearing
the promise of the Lord over our future. Yet, we are now having to walk through the desert to get
there, or sometimes stay exactly where we are (which can be even more difficult). Like Abram and
Sarai being called to a new land, to the unknown, into the trust. To trust the Lord with all we have. To fully rely on His plan and not our own. To start walking in faith, into the wilderness and entwining our future in the spoken promise of our God.

The summer of 1996, I was facing brave. Me, the shy girl, the girl that didn’t really feel like she belonged but desperately wanted to, signed up for her youth group wilderness trek trip. Going with a mostly seasoned and experienced group of adults and other teens, off into the Colorado Rockies to climb Mt. Elbert, the tallest in the state. Fear and doubt surged repeatedly through my entire being as I, the freshman never been in snow Texan, prepared for the journey. I carried my 40ish lb. pack up the rocky soil path. At that time, it was the most challenging, uncomfortable, longest, coldest week of my life. The highlight was standing on a summit at an elevation of 14,433 ft… and experiencing my first snowfall all on my 16th birthday. I came back to Texas  with a blistered sun burned chin and a feeling that I checked mountain climbing permanently off my bucket list.

Fast-forward to the summer of 2002, as a newly wed wife of a youth minister, accepted the challenge to once again head to the mountains. Older and slightly more optimistic about this trek, I prepared to hopefully impress my new outdoor loving husband. Going more prepared, more knowledgeable, more excited than 6 years earlier we journeyed once again up the well worn path of Mt. Elbert. This climb was still challenging but not nearly what I remembered or feared. I’m sure I had extra endurance  and drive with the love of my life next to me. Standing again on the summit, overlooking the valley below began a surge of love for this physical, spiritual challenge.

Summer of 2013, my first time back in the mountains after years of school, work and raising two babies into kids old enough for me to leave behind for a week. I had prepared the whole previous year for this experience. Running, working out, buying better gear…here I was hopeful to take on a
new mountain. Once again, with my husband by my side and this time dragging some dear friends with us, we took a group of teenagers up Mt. Tabeguache (14,162 ft.). The crew, the teenagers, the
friends all helped shape this trip as an amazing and
memorable trip. Yeah, my boots rubbed my heels off. Yes, me and my favorite high schooler had to boulder our way down by ourselves trying to catch up to one of our guides. Yes, I ended up getting a parasite when I got home and spent a day in the emergency room. Yet, the fire was lit. I was desperate for another trail and another summit.

Back again June of 2014 with a adult group of our own. Leading them up Mt. Blanca (14,351 ft.),which has one of the longest, rockiest, hottest hikes to base camp. With a great group and a  gorgeous valley to set up camp in we gathered around camp fires, told stories, laughed and studied the word under a star lit sky. I didn’t  summit this mountain (due to two not feeling well-I volunteered to stay behind). However, I did experience the beauty of this scenery by hiking around and meeting an all too friendly marmot and exploring an old decaying mountain cabin. Allowing, my soul to soak in the beauty of God’s fingerprints all around me. Feeling the song “Oh, how He loves me”, singing it’s way through my veins. Desiring to take in and memorize every angle of that high altitude clear watered lake and every peak that surrounds it.

Seeing our adults off on their way back to Houston, Eddie and I stayed to wait on our church youth group to make their way up a few days later. While we waited we day hiked Mt. Yale (14,200 ft.). I would of never thought I would day hike a 14er. Such an impossible idea to this flat-landers brain. We managed however, to conquer it and make it back down in time for dinner. We laughed, we talked, we took A LOT of pictures, and opened our hearts to the birth of a dream of being in the mountains more than just in the summer time. As we hiked Mt. Democrat (14,154 ft.) with our youth group that next week; God etched a dream on our hearts that we could not ignore. A dream of the mountains being our Promised Land but we had no idea how God expected us to get there. We came back from that trip whispering prayers and dreaming dreams of what may be in our near (or not so near) future. And wondering what is God up to? With our hearts jumping in with full commitment and minds whirling with possibilities.


The following summer of 2015, we once again had an adult group put together. Eddie went ahead to help lead our church youth group, so we were meeting him up there. Our adult group this time is 14 strong. A mix of married and singles, a mix of twenty somethings and up to the prime of life forties. All desperate to hear and see God is a whole new light. All braving the unexplored and conquering fears and doubts with every step. We began up Mt. Belford (14,203 ft.) singing and talking excitedly. This is one of the prettiest trails I’ve ever seen. Following a mountain stream with various falls, surges and dams. Trees towered overhead as we rounded narrow bends along the cliff trail. We walked through glorious valley’s tearing off our jackets and long sleeves as the sun warmed us. We settled into our campsites in gracious unity. Working together gathering water and starting meals. This group had my heart and I knew the Lord was among us and the Spirit was going to show up in a powerful way. Our wet and wild summit was quite the adventure, pushing many beyond limits. Wearing them down physically and allowing sole reliance on the Lord. Many events unfolded as Eddie and I had to hustle a couple off the mountain that same day, to send them home for a family emergency. But as I sit here and reflect on that week, I realize how at comfortable I felt, how I felt at home.

Back in Houston, we sold our home and readied ourselves to head to the hills…but God had a different timeline in mind. We stayed with friends and are now in an apartment, while spending lots of time in prayer for our church and for our future. We decided to get incorporated and through that process officially birthed Full Life Adventures. Now the task of completing the paperwork to submit to be a Non-profit and launch a fundraising campaign to buy the promised land in Colorado. Believing still, the promise spoken by our God. We are waiting. Waiting on Him to continue to guide us, whether by burning bush, pillar of fire or still small voice into this new endeavor. Like, Abram and Sarai, feeling that our age may be working against us. That we need to hurry this process along but knowing His timing is always best. Then also, are we to laugh at the thought that we may be called into the desert (Abilene, TX) to pursue Eddie’s desire to finish a Marriage & Family Therapy degree? Are we to take two more years to have all the many, many pieces fall into place? We know and trust the big picture that God put on our hearts…we know that had led and highlighted every step we have taken. That just like hiking the mountains the trail may be long, and tedious at times, that the summit will still be there. Waiting for us, beckoning us to keep pressing in and trusting our Lord into the promise. That this is just the beginning…
-Megan

Your Children's Faith: Listening for Who's Voice?

I've recently started meeting with some parents of teenagers. Often we focus so much on the teens, that we forget the single largest influence on a teenager isn't the church: it's their parents!

Last night we looked at 1 Samuel 2-3, well we started into chapter 2 but never made it over to chapter 3. Here, in chapter 2, we get insight into what happened with Eli and his sons. They chose not to honor God in their actions, and because of this God cut off Eli's lineage. Instead, God said that he would raise up "a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind" (vs. 35). Wow, I want to raise up my children to be faithful to do what is in God's heart and mind. But how do we do that?

It starts with us. I know that wasn't the answer you wanted. But if we want our kids to be faithful to God and to walk in his heart and will, then we have to be faithful followers that are seeking His heart and will. What is God's heart and will for us?

We get a little picture of this in the next chapter with Samuel hearing God's voice. So often we wish that we could just hear God's audible voice to tell us what to do, how to live, what's next. But I don't think God's voice is the key to chapter 3. The key is in Eli's wisdom in how he tells young Samuel how to respond. "So Eli told Samuel, "God and lie down, and if he calls you say, 'Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.'""

Eli is teaching Samuel how to be open to the voice of the Lord. To wait patiently for him to speak. How to listen. And then how to walk closely with Him.

If we teach our children nothing else we need to teach them how to be listeners. They have to learn to listen for His voice before they can learn to walk in His ways. How do they listen for the voice of the Lord? How do they listen to those who are in authority over them? How do they listen to their friends? How do they listen for the voice of those who can't or won't speak up for themselves?

Children need to learn how to listen. Parents need to learn how to listen. I need to listen.

How is God teaching you to listen for His voice?

Your Children's Faith Begins With You

I woke early yesterday morning, you know the pre 5 am, why am I awake and can't go back to sleep, kind of awake. As I lie there in bed I began to pray and just talk to God. Now don't think too highly of me or that my spirituality is so great that I wake up at 5 am praying. The reality is, I was half way hoping that praying would send me back to sleep (much like it seemed to work for the disciples in the garden of Gethsemane).

After laying there for about 30 minutes it became obvious that I was not going back to sleep. I got up, went out to the couch, and began to read my Bible. God keeps sending me to Ephesians 4 this week...but that is another post.

I read and prayed for the next 30 minutes or so and then I heard a door open and out comes my son. He is an early riser anyway, but on this morning he had a bad dream and came out with a tear in his eye. He snuggled up on the couch with me and asked what I was doing. I told him that I was reading my Bible and praying. He said, "We haven't done that in a while, I wonder where my Bible is."

I pointed over to the shelf where his Bible was sitting and he went over and grabbed it (in case you are wondering it is the age appropriate version of The Story). After a bit of looking, he wanted to read the story of Sampson and we did. Then he wanted to know where the stories about Jesus began. I helped him find the New Testament section and he began to read on his own.

There we were, together on the couch, reading our Bibles. That is how discipleship begins. I look forward to more of these precious times with my children as they learn and grow in their faith!

Small Groups: #1 Pray

I have recently been asked by a good friend of mine to help him learn how to be a better small group leader. There are many things I have learned over the last 20 years or so about leading a small group, so I will attempt to share them in the next few posts.

As the title suggests first you must Pray. By this I don't mean the little sentence prayers that we do before we eat a meal or before we start a meeting. I mean spend time in your prayer closet.

Confession time: I'm not good at this! This may be the area of faith where God is working on me the most right now. Having time set aside to just sit and soak in the presence of God is difficult for me. I want to go do this or that, the list in my head that needs to get accomplished keeps popping, I know there is one last thing to do...you get the picture. But to really be an effective small group leader we must spend time praying for each member of our group and for your time together. Here are a few specifics to pray through.

1) Pray for the members. Jesus went out and prayed for his disciples before selecting some to be his apostles, ^"In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God" (Luke 6:12). Our constant prayer for those whom we interact with is extremely important. If we are called to lead, we are called to pray for those whom we are to lead.

2) Pray for your time together. I find that very often I forget this in the process of preparation for my small group. I may pray during the week for the individuals and families, but do I spend time praying for our time together? Here the focus is on the presence of the Holy Spirit showing up and guiding discussion.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer" (Romans 12:12).

3) Pray over the scripture to be discussed and the discussion surrounding it. Praying through scripture is something that King David practiced as he meditated on God's word. We must let the scripture infiltrate our being, which only happens through the power of the Holy Spirit. We can not teach and discuss something that has not already penetrated our own hearts. "Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!" (Psalm 4:1). 

4) Pray together as a group. When together pray. Pray when you start and when you finish. Pray when answers or needs occur that you don't have. Praying for each other will bring a closeness and intimacy that can not be reached any other way. "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers" (Acts 2:42).

5) Take the time to lay hands on people and pray about specific needs. It is "easy" at times to just nod and say that you will pray when something specific is spoken during your group time. Don't say you will pray, don't (just) write it down on a list. Pray for the need right then and there. Lay hands on people and pray specifics for their lives. "Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working" (James 5:14-16).

When prayer becomes a cornerstone of your leadership, small group, and life, you give God the place he deserves: Lordship. It is in this determination of his Lordship that we can receive the grace to lead boldly. It is in this place of prayer that God's Spirit can move mightily in our lives and in the lives around us. When we rely on our relationship with God, which is fostered in prayer, rather than relying on ourselves, everything moves as He desires rather than as we desire. Ultimately, He knows what is best, He knows our needs, He wants us to come to Him, that we might know Him more. That is relationship. That is closeness. That is the foundation from which small groups should be built.  

Leadership: What Vision? Part 4

Vision, vision, vision. We here this term thrown around everywhere in the "business" world. A company must have vision. A CEO must have vision. Corporations do not go anywhere fast if there is no vision.

I liken it to my car. I have a great little car. It has a strong motor, all wheel drive, new tires, etc. But if I can't see out the windshield I won't get very far. Also, if I don't have a plan as to where I am going, I may go somewhere but it might not be of any use to me. I need a place, a destination to aim for, then I have to be able see how to get there.

That's how I see "vision." It can't just be a catchy statement about your group. It can't just point you in a direction. It must give destination, and provide a way to see how to get there. The best visions are closely related to goals: attainable yet challenging.

Look if a vision sets such a lofty goal, that it seems impossible, then you may be sabotaging yourself before you ever get started. This is a motivation killer. On the other hand if it isn't challenging enough, you won't get much out of your team. Again there is a motivation killer at play. So a vision must be attainable, accomplishable, not too far out of reach.  But it must also be challenging, give a mark to reach for, pull the best out of yourself and those around you, and give something to work hard toward.

Will Mancini frames vision as 4 parts: mission, values, strategy, measures. Mission is the what: What are we doing? Values are the motive: Why are we doing it? Strategy is the map: How are we doing it? Measures are the mark: When are we successful?

As leaders we often have passion and giftedness in one of these areas, maybe two. But almost never in all 4 areas. We must therefore gather those around us who can help us to define, communicate, and put action steps around each of these 4 elements. Without this, we may have a nice statement to go along with the company name, that has absolutely nothing to do with day to day operations, much less the future.

Which of these 4 parts to the vision are you currently employing? Which one is your organization lacking? Where are your strengths? What is your biggest weakness? Is there someone on your team that can help in an area that is lacking or do you need to bring in outside help? Can most of your leadership accurately quote and frame their work via the vision?

Leadership: What Action Steps? Part 3

Part three of this series on leadership will focus on Action Steps. There are many different terms used for this stage in the game plan, but in any case; there must be some sort of action plan or steps put into place. Now I know I haven't spoken about vision (I'm saving that till last), but these action steps should be a natural outgrowth of the vision that is cast and communicated.

The problem I most often see is that if there is vision cast and communicated, no one knows exactly what to do next. Back in one of my undergrad classes one of my professors defined a goal as both challenging and attainable. To me that is what you have to do with Action Steps. What are the next 3 to 5 steps to put us in the direction of the vision. What next steps will help the organization align with the vision?

Ways this must be communicated and followed through:
1) Action Steps must first begin with the leadership core. The leadership must work together on what actionable items they must do to align themselves with the vision of the organization. If the leadership isn't together, they must come together here otherwise they will undo the work of the rest of the organization moving forward.

2) Action Steps must be written down and disseminated throughout the organization to all with whom they involve. In other words they have to be seen at all levels so that all of the organization are on the same page as to what is next. To many times only one level receives these steps. This leaves the rest of the employees frozen, unable to see the picture of what is next. Writing them down also brings them into another level of reality, that is necessary for alignment.

3) Action steps must be specific. Specificity is important at this stage. If the steps are too broad then the organization will loose site of the end goal or vision. If the steps are too open for interpretation, then the end result may not look like the vision. When then next steps are written down in simple, easy to see and understand terms, then everyone is able to understand how to execute them. In addition to this, when they are simple and clear it is more evident when the action steps have been fulfilled.

4) Action steps must be followed through in a timely manor. In other words, they need a level of accountability attached to them. If there is no accountability built into the system, it is easy to get distracted by the next fire that one has to put out. Someone has to keep the appropriate timeline. Someone has to hold responsible parties to their specified role in the action step. This must fall on someones shoulders or the action steps are doomed to fail.

When a clear vision has been set forth (more on that in the next post), communicated clearly and from the heart, and action steps have been put into place, then you can see the movement of the organization toward an end result. This movement or change has to happen from the highest levels. This is real leadership, the kind of leadership that inspires, draws people in, and directs an organization toward its goals.

What have you done to create specific Action Steps for your organization? Who is the keeper of the timeline and the accountability? Who will champion these steps for your organization?

Be His hands and feet

"Christ has no body on earth but yours, not hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." -St. Teresa of Avila

Leadership: Communicate What?: Part 2

My last post simplified (maybe over simplified) great leadership as three basic principles: Vision, Communication, and Action Plans. Much has been written on each of these subjects but I thought I'd take some time to dive into them a bit...you know, because there is still so much that can be said.

I'll come back to vision next week or some time soon. This post is primarily about communication. No vision or action plan can be completed unless there is good communication on the front end, in the middle, and on the back end. Communication is an ongoing process, not a one time event when it comes to leadership.

I remember way back to my collage communications class often, I was terrible! I barely passed with a B. I had no idea what I was doing. I would basically read my "speeches" word for word. My excuse: I didn't have time to memorize. I didn't realize, as I do now after speaking in front of people for the last 16 years, communication happens best when the principles have been internalized and then are spoken from the heart.

Now I'm not saying I have it all figured out. There are people way better than me at speaking, preaching, presenting...I could go on. But I have come a long way and that is because of a couple of basic principles I have learned along the way, oh and I'm still learning how to best apply these!

1.  Begin with the end in mind. OK, I know that is straight up "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" but hear me out. When I don't have a clear picture of how my vision looks a few months or years down the road, it becomes even more difficult to communicate exactly what it is that I see. When we begin communication we have to have an end goal in mind. This is the path that we are attempting to take people on. When I gather people together to attempt a 14,000 ft mountain, I don't tell them about the months of planning, the pain of the heavy packs, or the possibility of altitude sickness. I tell them about the beauty of the mountains as your standing at 14,000 ft looking down across the range. That captures people. That is the end goal. But that is not the full picture of the journey to get there. People have to see where you are going, and your communication has to give them a picture of what this looks like in the end.

2.  Internalize, Internalize, Internalize. Change must first happen in you. Vision must first be captured and must first capture you. When your heart and passions are captured by something you can't help but to share. No one needs to write down the top five things about their fiance, it comes to them naturally from the heart, and you might have a hard time shutting them up at five. The mountains are something that captured my heart years ago. I have been on top of many 14ers (14,000 ft mountains). When describing the experience I can talk about what it has done for me, why I go back, and why others should too. This type of communication comes from within, from the heart, and people are captivated by it. They want to see it. They want to experience it. They desire it.

3.  Speak first to those close to you. Listen to those close to you. Recast to a larger group. This is a part of the process that is often most difficult. We want to go right from thought to actionable items. We want it to roll slickly off the tongue, but it can fall on deaf ears if it has not not been properly prepared. Often as leaders we don't know what others will hear us through. So test out your communication with others. Talk to your managers. Write it down for others to read. Listen to what they have to say. Create a feed back loop. I took a group up to the mountains last year, and did not follow a very direct path. Some on the trip loved it, some thought we should never do that mountain again. I had to take that in, listen and evaluate some of my process. Listen to the thoughts of those around you, stand by your convictions, and recast the vision when necessary.

4.  Tug at heart strings not just thought processes. It is tempting to give all the facts and figures of why our vision will/should work. But people are often first captivated by the story, the heart of the "why." When we communicate from our heart this should happen naturally. One of the reasons I got into hiking was because of the stories that some of my early guides told. I was captivated by them. I was engrossed in the possibilities of experiencing a similar camaraderie that I saw in them. I wanted to tell those stories. Let your communication tell a story. It could be your story or someone else'. It could be that you are telling the story of your company, the people in it, or the people you serve. Story is powerful because it tugs at our heart.

Each of these come from what I remember as "encoding" and "decoding." What we are attempting to encode via communication, is not necessarily what is decoded by the other people involved. We have to know them, know who they are, know their past, know their present...so that we have some idea of how our communication will be decoded. These 4 principles may help you in the encoding, and as you communicate this way, hopefully it will help those who are decoding as well.

Leadership: What? Part 1

What is leadership? What are the characteristics of one who leads? How does one lead well? What does it feel like when you are under the leadership of one who leads well? 

These are questions, and many more,  that have rolling around in my head for a few months now. I haven't really had time to dive deep into it, although in many ways I've been studying leadership going way back to my undergrad days at ACU. I like to watch how leaders act, how they react, how they lead through the hard times, how they stay with it long enough to make it work out.

I'm currently reading a book called "Leaders Eat Last" by Simon Sinek. This book is pulling out some of these thoughts from my head. But the reality is, I've been collecting posts on leadership for a while now. Most of these articles are from a church or christian perspective, but good leadership principles are applicable across many mediums and formats. So here are a couple to kick things off.

1. Great leaders have clear vision. Without vision we can not see where the organization is going. Vision gives people a picture of a dream. Proverbs says "Where there is no vision the people parish." Vision must be clear, concise and actionable. The vision must be clearly stated and stated often. Everything within the organization must be viewed through the lens of this vision. Until the vision invades every aspect of the organization it is nothing more than a dream or words on a wall. Vision must permeate everything you say and do.

2. Great leaders communicate vision clearly. The clarity by which the vision is communicated is directly proportionate to the energy, enthusiasm, and incentive of every member of the team. When a vision is clearly communicated, it is hard not to be excited about it. I can have no connection to an organization, but if the leader communicates vision clearly, I get excited. It is inspiring. On the other hand when a "vision" is cast, and there is little clarity it breeds confusion. You can't pull energy out of confusion. So when a vision is communicated clearly, it looks as if the path is laid out before you. There is no question about when or how it will be accomplished, because it is directly built in to the vision and it is clearly expressed.

3. Great leaders communicate vision via an action plan. It is not enough to only see the vision, for that is a dream. It is not enough to see it and tell others about it, any extrovert can speak about what they see. However, a great leader is able to communicate the vision in actionable items. The next step and future steps are visible from the current state of the organization toward where they want it to go. Without these action steps, the vision becomes simply a pipe dream. A great leader is not only able to see these next steps, but is able to rally everyone around them and move them toward the future.

With out vision clearly communicated in action steps an organization at best is stuck in a perpetual mode of grasping at straws for what the future may hold. Great leaders are able to see vision. Great leaders are able to communicate vision. Great leaders propel people into action based on vision.

Where are you as a leader? Where is your organization? Are there great leaders who's potential is untapped around you? Are you called to lead? How are you doing with that calling?

25 Discipleship Resources and Counting...Discipleship #8

Over the past 3-4 years I have come across so many books and resources to help in the process of discipleship. I think it was said best by my friend Jay when asked what the best book on discipleship was and he simply replied by raising his bible. I completely affirm and believe this is true. There is really nothing better than searching scripture and looking at the ways God affirmed and demonstrated discipleship throughout all of time. The bible and especially the life of Jesus Christ really is the best way to learn what it is to be a disciple and how to disciple.

However, I am often helped along by those who have fresh eyes to see what is right in front of me, but for what ever reason I am unable to see. I'm thankful for these men and women who are able to see, teach, and write about it. This is how I feel with so many resources that have sprung up over the last few years in regard to discipleship. I read these resources and have "duh" moments all the time. The reality is, discipleship is simple, I just often fail to recognize it. For example, try reading through the gospel of Mark as a manual as to how Jesus was discipling the rag-tag group of followers he had. Reading the stories and parables as if Jesus is trying to instruct the disciples on what it looked like to walk as he did...will down right change your perspective on so many texts!

All that said, there are certainly some resources that have shaped my understanding over the last couple of years. Here are a few personally & another article that has 25 more.

1. The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. This book completely changed the way I did youth ministry nearly 15 years ago. The concept of cheap grace still pains my soul.
2. The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee. His view of walking in the Spirit in the face of suffering is a thing of beauty.
3. How Should We Then Live? by Francis Schaeffer. The clash of culture and faith, is real, but must be walked through with grace.
4. Discipleshift by Jim Putman & Bobby Harrington. No this is not on the same level as the previous 3 classics mentioned, but it radically changed the way I saw how discipleship could change a church by growing individuals to look more like Christ.
5. Discipleship Essentials by Greg Ogden. This is a great 25 chapter study to walk with a small group through the process of discipleship. I am currently using this as the cornerstone of study for a men's discipleship group. It has brought great, deep, relevant discussions to light, and hopefully is fostering as much transformation in the other 5 guys as it is in me.

Here is also a link to another article with 25 discipleship resources, a couple of which I have mentioned, but with many more yet to be explored.

25 Discipleship Resources on Church Leaders

What are you currently doing that is showing successful transformation via a discipleship process?

Making Disciples: Discipleship #7

We are called to make disciples. Not Christians. Not converts. Disciples.

I have been under this conviction for years, and yet just in the last few others began to put it into words. I think it may have started when David Platt spoke up against this simple little "sinner's prayer" that we have all heard prayed. Where is that in scripture? Don't get me wrong...I understand why you might have someone pray that way...it is a start. But that is like going across the starting line in a race and then stopping and asking for a metal. Yeah, your a "runner" but you're still not a runner. There is more to it than the start. (BTW- I'm not trying to just pick on the sinners prayer here, we do the same thing with baptism in other circles. "They'll be ok if we can just get them dunked.")

I think that's why this next article I'm sharing is so spot on. I realized a couple of years that we don't tell the difficult side of being a Christian. It's hard, it takes work, there are struggles, there are battles, everyone comes out of it scarred, there will be suffering, you will want to go back to your former life...

But the good news is: you are not alone. The living God is with you. The people of God who have been through the same struggles are with you.

We have been called to lay down our lives. To take up our cross. To be transformed into His image. Sounds easy, like life will be rosy right?

"What happened to Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s idea of, “When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die”?" 

Here is Tyler Edwards list of contrasts between Converts & Disciples from Relevant Magazine:

1.) Converts are believers who live like the world. Disciples are believers who live like Jesus.
2.) Converts are focused on their values, interests, worries, fears, priorities, and lifestyles. Disciples are focused on Jesus.
3.) Converts go to church. Disciples are the church.
4.) Converts are involved in the mission of Jesus. Disciples are committed to it.
5.) Converts cheer from the sidelines. Disciples are in the game.
6.) Converts hear the word of God. Disciples live it.
7.) Converts follow the rules. Disciples follow Jesus.
8.) Converts are all about believing. Disciples are all about being.
9.) Converts are comfortable. Disciples make sacrifices.
10.) Converts talk. Disciples make more disciples.

Read the full article here: We're Called to Make Disciples not Converts

I pray that you are encouraged not discouraged. I know that God is calling his people out. That we would look more like the bride of Christ, that we would look more like Christ.

Are you making disciples or are you only converting?

Mature Christians: Discipleship #6

What are the marks of a mature Christian? Is it showing up to church every week? Is it the ability to pray in such a way that everyone wishes they could pray like you? Is it the ability to teach and share knowledge? I'm afraid in the world of Christianity we often have things backwards compared to how Christ would have described maturity.

I was reminded this week how in the upper room as He and the disciples celebrated the Passover meal together (yes meal, more than crackers and juice...but I'll save that discussion for another time), Jesus took a towel, knelt down and began to wash their feet. Here he was the King of Kings, doing the work of a servant. Jesus reminded us that the first would be last and the last would be first. Maybe we have this whole maturity thing backwards...

I came across an article that spoke to what a mature Christian looks like:
( 10 Marks of a Mature Christian)

Here are the 10 marks as the author Frank Powell sees it.

1) The highs and lows of life don’t impact your relationship with God. 

2) You find value in the “daily-ness” and trivial seasons of life.

3) You are at peace with situations beyond your control. 

4) You don’t allow disciplines to take a back seat.

5) You maintain a childlike sense of wonder and awe.

6) You do not compare yourself to others.

7) You listen to others who have a different viewpoint … with the goal of growing and not correcting.

8) Your heart breaks for the poor and marginalized.

9) You understand Christianity doesn’t have an on/off switch.

10) You have a sustainable rhythm to your life.

 

One of the biggest keys to the kind of life in Christ described in this article is consistency. Consistency is built by faith. When we believe God is in control, that He is our life, that He is our source, then we begin to walk in the love and peace that only comes from being his child. That is maturity in Christ.