Your Children's Faith: Listening for Who's Voice?

I've recently started meeting with some parents of teenagers. Often we focus so much on the teens, that we forget the single largest influence on a teenager isn't the church: it's their parents!

Last night we looked at 1 Samuel 2-3, well we started into chapter 2 but never made it over to chapter 3. Here, in chapter 2, we get insight into what happened with Eli and his sons. They chose not to honor God in their actions, and because of this God cut off Eli's lineage. Instead, God said that he would raise up "a faithful priest, who will do according to what is in my heart and mind" (vs. 35). Wow, I want to raise up my children to be faithful to do what is in God's heart and mind. But how do we do that?

It starts with us. I know that wasn't the answer you wanted. But if we want our kids to be faithful to God and to walk in his heart and will, then we have to be faithful followers that are seeking His heart and will. What is God's heart and will for us?

We get a little picture of this in the next chapter with Samuel hearing God's voice. So often we wish that we could just hear God's audible voice to tell us what to do, how to live, what's next. But I don't think God's voice is the key to chapter 3. The key is in Eli's wisdom in how he tells young Samuel how to respond. "So Eli told Samuel, "God and lie down, and if he calls you say, 'Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.'""

Eli is teaching Samuel how to be open to the voice of the Lord. To wait patiently for him to speak. How to listen. And then how to walk closely with Him.

If we teach our children nothing else we need to teach them how to be listeners. They have to learn to listen for His voice before they can learn to walk in His ways. How do they listen for the voice of the Lord? How do they listen to those who are in authority over them? How do they listen to their friends? How do they listen for the voice of those who can't or won't speak up for themselves?

Children need to learn how to listen. Parents need to learn how to listen. I need to listen.

How is God teaching you to listen for His voice?

Your Children's Faith Begins With You

I woke early yesterday morning, you know the pre 5 am, why am I awake and can't go back to sleep, kind of awake. As I lie there in bed I began to pray and just talk to God. Now don't think too highly of me or that my spirituality is so great that I wake up at 5 am praying. The reality is, I was half way hoping that praying would send me back to sleep (much like it seemed to work for the disciples in the garden of Gethsemane).

After laying there for about 30 minutes it became obvious that I was not going back to sleep. I got up, went out to the couch, and began to read my Bible. God keeps sending me to Ephesians 4 this week...but that is another post.

I read and prayed for the next 30 minutes or so and then I heard a door open and out comes my son. He is an early riser anyway, but on this morning he had a bad dream and came out with a tear in his eye. He snuggled up on the couch with me and asked what I was doing. I told him that I was reading my Bible and praying. He said, "We haven't done that in a while, I wonder where my Bible is."

I pointed over to the shelf where his Bible was sitting and he went over and grabbed it (in case you are wondering it is the age appropriate version of The Story). After a bit of looking, he wanted to read the story of Sampson and we did. Then he wanted to know where the stories about Jesus began. I helped him find the New Testament section and he began to read on his own.

There we were, together on the couch, reading our Bibles. That is how discipleship begins. I look forward to more of these precious times with my children as they learn and grow in their faith!

Small Groups: #1 Pray

I have recently been asked by a good friend of mine to help him learn how to be a better small group leader. There are many things I have learned over the last 20 years or so about leading a small group, so I will attempt to share them in the next few posts.

As the title suggests first you must Pray. By this I don't mean the little sentence prayers that we do before we eat a meal or before we start a meeting. I mean spend time in your prayer closet.

Confession time: I'm not good at this! This may be the area of faith where God is working on me the most right now. Having time set aside to just sit and soak in the presence of God is difficult for me. I want to go do this or that, the list in my head that needs to get accomplished keeps popping, I know there is one last thing to do...you get the picture. But to really be an effective small group leader we must spend time praying for each member of our group and for your time together. Here are a few specifics to pray through.

1) Pray for the members. Jesus went out and prayed for his disciples before selecting some to be his apostles, ^"In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God" (Luke 6:12). Our constant prayer for those whom we interact with is extremely important. If we are called to lead, we are called to pray for those whom we are to lead.

2) Pray for your time together. I find that very often I forget this in the process of preparation for my small group. I may pray during the week for the individuals and families, but do I spend time praying for our time together? Here the focus is on the presence of the Holy Spirit showing up and guiding discussion.

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer" (Romans 12:12).

3) Pray over the scripture to be discussed and the discussion surrounding it. Praying through scripture is something that King David practiced as he meditated on God's word. We must let the scripture infiltrate our being, which only happens through the power of the Holy Spirit. We can not teach and discuss something that has not already penetrated our own hearts. "Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!" (Psalm 4:1). 

4) Pray together as a group. When together pray. Pray when you start and when you finish. Pray when answers or needs occur that you don't have. Praying for each other will bring a closeness and intimacy that can not be reached any other way. "And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers" (Acts 2:42).

5) Take the time to lay hands on people and pray about specific needs. It is "easy" at times to just nod and say that you will pray when something specific is spoken during your group time. Don't say you will pray, don't (just) write it down on a list. Pray for the need right then and there. Lay hands on people and pray specifics for their lives. "Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working" (James 5:14-16).

When prayer becomes a cornerstone of your leadership, small group, and life, you give God the place he deserves: Lordship. It is in this determination of his Lordship that we can receive the grace to lead boldly. It is in this place of prayer that God's Spirit can move mightily in our lives and in the lives around us. When we rely on our relationship with God, which is fostered in prayer, rather than relying on ourselves, everything moves as He desires rather than as we desire. Ultimately, He knows what is best, He knows our needs, He wants us to come to Him, that we might know Him more. That is relationship. That is closeness. That is the foundation from which small groups should be built.  

Leadership: What Vision? Part 4

Vision, vision, vision. We here this term thrown around everywhere in the "business" world. A company must have vision. A CEO must have vision. Corporations do not go anywhere fast if there is no vision.

I liken it to my car. I have a great little car. It has a strong motor, all wheel drive, new tires, etc. But if I can't see out the windshield I won't get very far. Also, if I don't have a plan as to where I am going, I may go somewhere but it might not be of any use to me. I need a place, a destination to aim for, then I have to be able see how to get there.

That's how I see "vision." It can't just be a catchy statement about your group. It can't just point you in a direction. It must give destination, and provide a way to see how to get there. The best visions are closely related to goals: attainable yet challenging.

Look if a vision sets such a lofty goal, that it seems impossible, then you may be sabotaging yourself before you ever get started. This is a motivation killer. On the other hand if it isn't challenging enough, you won't get much out of your team. Again there is a motivation killer at play. So a vision must be attainable, accomplishable, not too far out of reach.  But it must also be challenging, give a mark to reach for, pull the best out of yourself and those around you, and give something to work hard toward.

Will Mancini frames vision as 4 parts: mission, values, strategy, measures. Mission is the what: What are we doing? Values are the motive: Why are we doing it? Strategy is the map: How are we doing it? Measures are the mark: When are we successful?

As leaders we often have passion and giftedness in one of these areas, maybe two. But almost never in all 4 areas. We must therefore gather those around us who can help us to define, communicate, and put action steps around each of these 4 elements. Without this, we may have a nice statement to go along with the company name, that has absolutely nothing to do with day to day operations, much less the future.

Which of these 4 parts to the vision are you currently employing? Which one is your organization lacking? Where are your strengths? What is your biggest weakness? Is there someone on your team that can help in an area that is lacking or do you need to bring in outside help? Can most of your leadership accurately quote and frame their work via the vision?

Leadership: What Action Steps? Part 3

Part three of this series on leadership will focus on Action Steps. There are many different terms used for this stage in the game plan, but in any case; there must be some sort of action plan or steps put into place. Now I know I haven't spoken about vision (I'm saving that till last), but these action steps should be a natural outgrowth of the vision that is cast and communicated.

The problem I most often see is that if there is vision cast and communicated, no one knows exactly what to do next. Back in one of my undergrad classes one of my professors defined a goal as both challenging and attainable. To me that is what you have to do with Action Steps. What are the next 3 to 5 steps to put us in the direction of the vision. What next steps will help the organization align with the vision?

Ways this must be communicated and followed through:
1) Action Steps must first begin with the leadership core. The leadership must work together on what actionable items they must do to align themselves with the vision of the organization. If the leadership isn't together, they must come together here otherwise they will undo the work of the rest of the organization moving forward.

2) Action Steps must be written down and disseminated throughout the organization to all with whom they involve. In other words they have to be seen at all levels so that all of the organization are on the same page as to what is next. To many times only one level receives these steps. This leaves the rest of the employees frozen, unable to see the picture of what is next. Writing them down also brings them into another level of reality, that is necessary for alignment.

3) Action steps must be specific. Specificity is important at this stage. If the steps are too broad then the organization will loose site of the end goal or vision. If the steps are too open for interpretation, then the end result may not look like the vision. When then next steps are written down in simple, easy to see and understand terms, then everyone is able to understand how to execute them. In addition to this, when they are simple and clear it is more evident when the action steps have been fulfilled.

4) Action steps must be followed through in a timely manor. In other words, they need a level of accountability attached to them. If there is no accountability built into the system, it is easy to get distracted by the next fire that one has to put out. Someone has to keep the appropriate timeline. Someone has to hold responsible parties to their specified role in the action step. This must fall on someones shoulders or the action steps are doomed to fail.

When a clear vision has been set forth (more on that in the next post), communicated clearly and from the heart, and action steps have been put into place, then you can see the movement of the organization toward an end result. This movement or change has to happen from the highest levels. This is real leadership, the kind of leadership that inspires, draws people in, and directs an organization toward its goals.

What have you done to create specific Action Steps for your organization? Who is the keeper of the timeline and the accountability? Who will champion these steps for your organization?

Be His hands and feet

"Christ has no body on earth but yours, not hands but yours, no feet but yours. Yours are the eyes through which Christ's compassion for the world is to look out; yours are the feet with which He is to go about doing good; and yours are the hands with which He is to bless us now." -St. Teresa of Avila

Leadership: Communicate What?: Part 2

My last post simplified (maybe over simplified) great leadership as three basic principles: Vision, Communication, and Action Plans. Much has been written on each of these subjects but I thought I'd take some time to dive into them a bit...you know, because there is still so much that can be said.

I'll come back to vision next week or some time soon. This post is primarily about communication. No vision or action plan can be completed unless there is good communication on the front end, in the middle, and on the back end. Communication is an ongoing process, not a one time event when it comes to leadership.

I remember way back to my collage communications class often, I was terrible! I barely passed with a B. I had no idea what I was doing. I would basically read my "speeches" word for word. My excuse: I didn't have time to memorize. I didn't realize, as I do now after speaking in front of people for the last 16 years, communication happens best when the principles have been internalized and then are spoken from the heart.

Now I'm not saying I have it all figured out. There are people way better than me at speaking, preaching, presenting...I could go on. But I have come a long way and that is because of a couple of basic principles I have learned along the way, oh and I'm still learning how to best apply these!

1.  Begin with the end in mind. OK, I know that is straight up "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" but hear me out. When I don't have a clear picture of how my vision looks a few months or years down the road, it becomes even more difficult to communicate exactly what it is that I see. When we begin communication we have to have an end goal in mind. This is the path that we are attempting to take people on. When I gather people together to attempt a 14,000 ft mountain, I don't tell them about the months of planning, the pain of the heavy packs, or the possibility of altitude sickness. I tell them about the beauty of the mountains as your standing at 14,000 ft looking down across the range. That captures people. That is the end goal. But that is not the full picture of the journey to get there. People have to see where you are going, and your communication has to give them a picture of what this looks like in the end.

2.  Internalize, Internalize, Internalize. Change must first happen in you. Vision must first be captured and must first capture you. When your heart and passions are captured by something you can't help but to share. No one needs to write down the top five things about their fiance, it comes to them naturally from the heart, and you might have a hard time shutting them up at five. The mountains are something that captured my heart years ago. I have been on top of many 14ers (14,000 ft mountains). When describing the experience I can talk about what it has done for me, why I go back, and why others should too. This type of communication comes from within, from the heart, and people are captivated by it. They want to see it. They want to experience it. They desire it.

3.  Speak first to those close to you. Listen to those close to you. Recast to a larger group. This is a part of the process that is often most difficult. We want to go right from thought to actionable items. We want it to roll slickly off the tongue, but it can fall on deaf ears if it has not not been properly prepared. Often as leaders we don't know what others will hear us through. So test out your communication with others. Talk to your managers. Write it down for others to read. Listen to what they have to say. Create a feed back loop. I took a group up to the mountains last year, and did not follow a very direct path. Some on the trip loved it, some thought we should never do that mountain again. I had to take that in, listen and evaluate some of my process. Listen to the thoughts of those around you, stand by your convictions, and recast the vision when necessary.

4.  Tug at heart strings not just thought processes. It is tempting to give all the facts and figures of why our vision will/should work. But people are often first captivated by the story, the heart of the "why." When we communicate from our heart this should happen naturally. One of the reasons I got into hiking was because of the stories that some of my early guides told. I was captivated by them. I was engrossed in the possibilities of experiencing a similar camaraderie that I saw in them. I wanted to tell those stories. Let your communication tell a story. It could be your story or someone else'. It could be that you are telling the story of your company, the people in it, or the people you serve. Story is powerful because it tugs at our heart.

Each of these come from what I remember as "encoding" and "decoding." What we are attempting to encode via communication, is not necessarily what is decoded by the other people involved. We have to know them, know who they are, know their past, know their present...so that we have some idea of how our communication will be decoded. These 4 principles may help you in the encoding, and as you communicate this way, hopefully it will help those who are decoding as well.